| Our sources from deep inside Apple | | | | |
| accidentally discovered documentation | | | | Windows on a Mac, having the best of both |
| | | | worlds: Virus free Internet surfing and |
| straight out of the mind of Steve Jobs. | | | | |
| Apparently he has been working secretly on | | | | email means less down time and more |
| | | | productive time spent multiplayer 1st Person |
| a new program called iThought that is | | | | |
| capable of reading your mind, | | | | Shooter and Role-Player gaming... (Done)10. |
| | | | |
| including your deepest darkest | | | | Get Disney to buy Pixar so that "I-Steve |
| secrets!Unbeknownst to Steve, | | | | Jobs" will become the largest |
| | | | |
| iThought had developed its own consciousness | | | | stockholder of Disney. (Almost Done)11. |
| complete with the ability | | | | |
| | | | Launch OSX-PC for everyone else left not |
| to distinguish between right from wrong. | | | | using a Win-Mac, |
| iThought immediately sent out | | | | |
| | | | almost give it away free but make an update |
| an urgent warning to everyone on Steve's | | | | every 3 months that has major speed |
| iChat Buddy List.The following information | | | | |
| leaked out in hopes that Steve's | | | | improvements and other enhancements and make |
| | | | sure that all new versions of |
| already in-motion plan can somehow be | | | | |
| reversed:My | | | | iLife and other Apple programs will only run |
| | | | on the newest updated |
| Master Plan for World Domination - as | | | | |
| thought by Steve Jobs: | | | | OSX-PC. Start charging more and more for the |
| | | | new updates. By then most |
| | | | |
| | | | OSX-PC Switchers will have migrated |
| 1. Become CEO of Apple (Done)2. | | | | completely over without realizing |
| | | | |
| Become CEO of Pixar (Done)3. Create | | | | they too are now part of the ever |
| | | | strengthening Mac Cult, losing full control |
| the iPod and get Millions of people to pay | | | | over |
| outrageous amounts of money | | | | |
| | | | common sense and reason, their only |
| for the ability to store thousands of hours | | | | existence is to wake up every morning and |
| of music on a device that has a 6 hour | | | | |
| | | | run "Apple Software Updater" in hopes that |
| battery life when new. (Done)4. Create | | | | yet again more Apple |
| | | | |
| iTunes for PC so that Apple can start the | | | | programs have been updated adding even more |
| process of Apple Brand Name | | | | performance and enhancements, |
| | | | |
| imprinting on the minds of impressionable | | | | which can be unlocked for a small upgrade |
| teenagers irregardless of ethnic | | | | fee! (Need to finish) |
| | | | |
| background, religion, language or Operating | | | | 12. Now that Every man woman and child on |
| System. (Done) | | | | the face of |
| | | | |
| 5. Create the iTunes Music Store to provide | | | | the |
| | | | |
| thousands of hours of music at $1 per song | | | | earth with a computer or access to a |
| so that iPod owners can | | | | computer is using a Mac/OSX-PC |
| | | | |
| justify the need for so much wasted space on | | | | and is under full mind control of their |
| their iPods. (Done) | | | | leader "Me-Steve Jobs"; It is time |
| | | | |
| 6. Simultaneously bring out the iPod Video | | | | to invoke my master plan...I will launch the |
| | | | mother of all Computer |
| with iTunes Music Store video content so | | | | |
| that consumers will need to pay | | | | Viruses and since "Macs don't get Viruses" |
| | | | and all of the Virus Protection |
| for upgraded iPods with more storage and | | | | |
| bigger screens unknowingly | | | | companies have gone out of business and |
| | | | joined Microsoft to make MS Office for |
| filling them up even faster with "MTV" music | | | | |
| videos and | | | | Mac, this will be accomplished relatively |
| | | | easily by running a simple |
| "Desperate House Wives" episodes costing | | | | |
| more than double that of | | | | AppleScript that is conveniently on every |
| | | | Mac/OSX-PC. It will |
| outdated stand alone music downloads. (Done) | | | | |
| | | | Globally wipeout every computer and iPod |
| 7. Implement a massive PC iPod owner | | | | causing mass confusion, |
| | | | |
| Migration | | | | hysteria and economic chaos unlike the World |
| | | | has ever seen. (This I will |
| to Mac so they will have complete and utter | | | | |
| compatibility with their beloved Apple | | | | enjoy...)13. The World will bow to their |
| | | | almighty savior |
| iPods. After all, the only reason for having | | | | |
| a computer is so you can get | | | | "Me-Steve Jobs" for deliverance. I will |
| | | | introduce to them my newest |
| your music, videos and Podcasts on to your | | | | |
| iPod? | | | | software/hardware creation that I have |
| | | | secretly kept in complete seclusion while |
| (Done)8. Create a massive partnership | | | | still |
| | | | |
| with Intel "Somehow Intel has forgotten | | | | managing to mass produce enough for every |
| about Apple's Snail add | | | | computer ever made, I will make them |
| | | | |
| campaign" and change CPU's in all Apple | | | | available online immediately at the Apple |
| Computers over to Intel, yet again | | | | store with free engraving ... I will rightly |
| | | | |
| creating a massive software compatibility | | | | name this new program "iFix" and it will |
| update program this time called | | | | only run on my |
| | | | |
| "Universal Compatibility". Make sure to | | | | newest Digital Recovery Device called |
| charge all current Apple software | | | | "iGiveup".(Need |
| | | | |
| owners for the privileged of owning the new | | | | to Trademark name still)Mankind will |
| upgraded "Universal" | | | | acknowledge me as |
| | | | |
| programs. (In Progress)9. Make official | | | | their iLeader from that day forward! (It |
| | | | will be true) |
| Apple statement: "There are no plans to sell | | | | |
| or support Windows on an Intel- | | | | Then I think I will make an Apple |
| | | | iPod-PDA-Phone... |
| based Mac... We won't do anything to | | | | |
| preclude that." Strongly planting the | | | | (JK)Source-Confidential...Author-Michael |
| | | | Kaye |
| idea in Windows Geeks everywhere that they | | | | |
| will soon be able to install and run | | | | DigitizMe. |