| Our sources from deep inside Apple accidentally | | | | soon be able to install and run |
| discovered documentation | | | | Windows on a Mac, having the best of both worlds: |
| straight out of the mind of Steve Jobs. Apparently he | | | | Virus free Internet surfing and |
| has been working secretly on | | | | email means less down time and more productive |
| a new program called iThought that is capable of | | | | time spent multiplayer 1st Person |
| reading your mind, | | | | Shooter and Role-Player gaming... (Done)10. |
| including your deepest darkest secrets!Unbeknownst | | | | Get Disney to buy Pixar so that "I-Steve Jobs" will |
| to Steve, | | | | become the largest |
| iThought had developed its own consciousness | | | | stockholder of Disney. (Almost Done)11. |
| complete with the ability | | | | Launch OSX-PC for everyone else left not using a |
| to distinguish between right from wrong. iThought | | | | Win-Mac, |
| immediately sent out | | | | almost give it away free but make an update every 3 |
| an urgent warning to everyone on Steve's iChat | | | | months that has major speed |
| Buddy List.The following information leaked out in | | | | improvements and other enhancements and make |
| hopes that Steve's | | | | sure that all new versions of |
| already in-motion plan can somehow be reversed:My | | | | iLife and other Apple programs will only run on the |
| Master Plan for World Domination - as thought by | | | | newest updated |
| Steve Jobs: | | | | OSX-PC. Start charging more and more for the new |
| | | | updates. By then most |
| 1. Become CEO of Apple (Done)2. | | | | OSX-PC Switchers will have migrated completely |
| Become CEO of Pixar (Done)3. Create | | | | over without realizing |
| the iPod and get Millions of people to pay outrageous | | | | they too are now part of the ever strengthening Mac |
| amounts of money | | | | Cult, losing full control over |
| for the ability to store thousands of hours of music on | | | | common sense and reason, their only existence is to |
| a device that has a 6 hour | | | | wake up every morning and |
| battery life when new. (Done)4. Create | | | | run "Apple Software Updater" in hopes that yet again |
| iTunes for PC so that Apple can start the process of | | | | more Apple |
| Apple Brand Name | | | | programs have been updated adding even more |
| imprinting on the minds of impressionable teenagers | | | | performance and enhancements, |
| irregardless of ethnic | | | | which can be unlocked for a small upgrade fee! (Need |
| background, religion, language or Operating System. | | | | to finish) |
| (Done) | | | | 12. Now that Every man woman and child on the face |
| 5. Create the iTunes Music Store to provide | | | | of |
| thousands of hours of music at $1 per song so that | | | | the |
| iPod owners can | | | | earth with a computer or access to a computer is |
| justify the need for so much wasted space on their | | | | using a Mac/OSX-PC |
| iPods. (Done) | | | | and is under full mind control of their leader "Me-Steve |
| 6. Simultaneously bring out the iPod Video | | | | Jobs"; It is time |
| with iTunes Music Store video content so that | | | | to invoke my master plan...I will launch the mother of all |
| consumers will need to pay | | | | Computer |
| for upgraded iPods with more storage and bigger | | | | Viruses and since "Macs don't get Viruses" and all of |
| screens unknowingly | | | | the Virus Protection |
| filling them up even faster with "MTV" music videos | | | | companies have gone out of business and joined |
| and | | | | Microsoft to make MS Office for |
| "Desperate House Wives" episodes costing more | | | | Mac, this will be accomplished relatively easily by |
| than double that of | | | | running a simple |
| outdated stand alone music downloads. (Done) | | | | AppleScript that is conveniently on every Mac |
| 7. Implement a massive PC iPod owner | | | | OSX-PC. It will |
| Migration | | | | Globally wipeout every computer and iPod causing |
| to Mac so they will have complete and utter | | | | mass confusion, |
| compatibility with their beloved Apple | | | | hysteria and economic chaos unlike the World has |
| iPods. After all, the only reason for having a computer | | | | ever seen. (This I will |
| is so you can get | | | | enjoy...)13. The World will bow to their almighty savior |
| your music, videos and Podcasts on to your iPod? | | | | "Me-Steve Jobs" for deliverance. I will introduce to |
| (Done)8. Create a massive partnership | | | | them my newest |
| with Intel "Somehow Intel has forgotten about Apple's | | | | software/hardware creation that I have secretly kept |
| Snail add | | | | in complete seclusion while still |
| campaign" and change CPU's in all Apple Computers | | | | managing to mass produce enough for every |
| over to Intel, yet again | | | | computer ever made, I will make them |
| creating a massive software compatibility update | | | | available online immediately at the Apple store with |
| program this time called | | | | free engraving ... I will rightly |
| "Universal Compatibility". Make sure to charge all | | | | name this new program "iFix" and it will only run on my |
| current Apple software | | | | |
| owners for the privileged of owning the new | | | | newest Digital Recovery Device called "iGiveup".(Need |
| upgraded "Universal" | | | | |
| programs. (In Progress)9. Make official | | | | to Trademark name still)Mankind will acknowledge me |
| Apple statement: "There are no plans to sell or | | | | as |
| support Windows on an Intel- | | | | their iLeader from that day forward! (It will be true) |
| based Mac... We won't do anything to preclude that." | | | | Then I think I will make an Apple iPod-PDA-Phone... |
| Strongly planting the | | | | (JK)Source-Confidential...Author-Michael Kaye |
| idea in Windows Geeks everywhere that they will | | | | DigitizMe. |